Saturday, August 07, 2010

The Picnic

Jamee and I went to an adoption picnic this week.  It was our first time getting to learn about any kids since finishing our paperwork recently.  Though we didn’t think originally that we’d want to go to a picnic, it seemed like a good idea to “get in the game” so to speak.  An adoption picnic is an event where the county social workers bring the “harder to place” kids in order for families to get to know them.  In reality it’s just as awkward and awful as it sounds.  And, in some ways it’s kind of cool.  You get to meet and interact with kids before you learn their stories, which is backwards from the standard procedure in this case.

For the first 30 minutes or so it’s literally a bunch of prospective parents standing around a jungle gym in a random park while a bunch of kids who have just driven or even flown hours to get there play on said jungle gym.  Talk about awkward.  Adults plotting forced “fun” interactions!  Some adults just jumping in and climbing on the jungle gym, most hanging back, trying to find a kid they “connect” with.  Ugh.  Why did we say yes to this and how much longer??  Then one little boy broke the ice by telling me that he knew me.  Oh really, where do you know me from, as I frantically rack my brain to see whether I know this kid and if that could in anyway be a problem?? He says “You’re the lunch lady at my school!” Wow, ok, well at least someone talked to me! 

The rest of the day was ok.  We met a few kids that we had a good time with and a few that we tried to imagine living with.  The kids ranged in age from 1 to 16.  The older kids clearly knew why they were there, and that was hard.  And while 1 year olds are very desirable, you can’t really “connect” with them at a picnic.  There were so many kids there with siblings but not just one or two, but three or four.  The kids have name tags and you can see their names and their ages but then you can also see their siblings names and ages.  So you’d see this super cute kid and look at his name tag and then be like “HOLY COW there’s 5 of you!!!” So tough.  Jamee and I have been going back and forth whether we can take on two or three and after playing with a couple of kids for an hour or so, three at a time seems like absolute lunacy!!!

There were a few kids that we had fun with and requested more information about, so now we wait.  Don’t really have an idea how long we wait but now we see if any of the kids/social workers think our family will be a good match for them.  I’m terrified that no one will call us back, and I’m terrified that someone will call us back!  So we wait, and I’ll let you know if anything exciting happens.  For sure the picnic, while at times sad and hard, made the whole process more real!! 

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Requirements

How many pieces of paper does it take to make a baby?  Depending on how you choose to do it an HIV test, a marriage certificate, a sperm donor profile?  Do you want to know how many pieces of paper it takes to adopt a kid?  Here’s a list:

• application
• fingerprinting/criminal check
• autobiography (8-10 pages)
• first aid/CPR certification
• water safety training certification
• employment verification
• financial statement
• tax returns
• medical statements
• doctor’s health certification, including TB test
• pet vaccine certifications
• family evacuation plan
• 9 week training course completion certificate
• self assessment questionnaire
• DMV clearance/driver’s license report
• home liability insurance certificate
• verification of automobile insurance
• marriage/DP certificate
• “family book” (aka marketing materials)

PHEW!  But you know what? We’re done!  Finally, and at long last.  Next week we “get in the game”.  Wish us luck.
 

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Visions

Last New Years I started a new tradition.  It’s called a vision board, and most people these days know about it from that book The Secret.  I haven’t read that book but I get the concept, that you put positive thoughts of what you want into “the universe” and you get it.  I actually first made something like a vision board back in my church youth group when I was a teenager.  Same idea - you cut out pictures and what not from magazines and paste them to a piece of cardboard.  Should be things that represent you, who you are or who you want to be, what you want in your life. 

So each New Years eve, or day, I get some poster board and a bunch of magazines and cut out images of what I want in my life in the coming year.  The first year I made Jamee do it with me but that only lasted one year.  I think both years now Al has done it with me too.  The first year, when we were still trying to get pregnant, my vision board had all kinds of pictures of babies, pregnant bellies, strollers, etc.  (Along, of course, with the requisite images representing eating better, exercising more, getting organized, saving money, making the cats not pee on stuff!!) This year, my board looks different.  It has pictures of lots of cute little kids, all different ages and colors.  Hopefully this one will do the trick!

Another kind of vision I have is sometimes when I’m driving in my car, I look over to the (empty) passenger’s seat and I picture a cute little kid sitting there, with his backpack, on the way to school.  OMG I can’t wait.  I picture coming home from work and having little kids run to the door srcreaming “Mommy!!” How fun is that?  I’m so ready.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

What is a Puka?

I guess if we post the blog to Facebook then we might need to explain what a Puka is.  Here’s a multiple choice:

1. a shell that they make necklaces out of in Hawaii
2. a hole
3. a term of endearment between Jamee and Yvette
4. what Jamee does when she has to pick up dog poop

The answer in this case is 3, although the term as we use it was born in Hawaii so it has it’s origins there.  Sometimes it’s used as puka, sometimes puk, sometimes pukeeeeeee.  But if Jamee has her way, it’s NEVER used in public.  (hee hee)

Sometimes when we fantasize about having kids and a minivan (Jamee doesn’t exactly fantasize about that part…..) we joke that we’ll get a personalized plate that says “PUKAFAM”.  So that’s where the name of the blog comes from.  I hope you like it.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Puka Family

This is my first post!  This blog is primarily about creating our “human family”, but the Puka Family is definitely greater than the sum of it’s humans.  The human family is a little bit “stalled”, but we’ll get into that later.  Right now most of our efforts are focused on the “jungle”, which is what we affectionately call our animal kingdom.  To say there are some issues there is an understatement.  On Friday morning we realized that every one of the 5 (count ‘em 5) animals had an issue.  Maxine’s situation is well known, and of course that’s taking a ton of our emotional energy.  Then Niko shows up with a huge abcess on his chin which requires lancing, a cone and more drugs.  A cone on a cat isn’t fun but it’s not a big deal, unless of course your dog is already dying of cancer!  The bengals both have huge gashes on their legs but frankly that’s a by-product of the life they’ve chosen and since they are young and relatively healthy, they don’t require professional medical attention.  And Ozzie had an incredibly upset stomach because he stole off the counter and ate about a half pound of hamburger meat.  We have been cooking meat to entice Max to eat and since Jamee was rushing to pick up Niko from the vet (from the afore mentioned lancing and draining) she forgot to put it away.  A sick dog that’s already a barfer by nature is super unnecessary right now!  So that’s our family and yes, we still want kids!!  And as you all already know, yes we are crazy.  But we’re the Puka Family and that’s how we roll.

PS. I don’t recommend trying to read “The Art of Racing in the Rain” WHILE your dog is dying.  But thanks anyway Tam.